Over the past months, watching the inequity of the COVID-19 response, the murder and protests of the death of George Floyd, and listening to fellow white people, strangers and friends alike, respond to it all, I have felt such discouragement at how few understand or are even willing to acknowledge their great privilege.

So, in honor of the passing of John Lewis, one of my heroes, and someone I could gladly listen to all the live-long day, I’ve prepared a brief white privilege primer in hopes of gently nudging those who may need it down the path of greater understanding.

Way back when I was getting my teaching certification (more than 20 years ago!!), I received a publication by Peggy McIntosh that opened my eyes to the wider world of racism and white privilege. I’m not including the entirety, but if you’d like to see it, click here.

These examples of white privilege cross the spectrum. I encourage you to read further and imagine yourself experiencing each one, perhaps on a daily basis or over a lifetime. The struggle is REAL and people are TIRED.

• When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that people of my color made it what it is. Read about white men dominating the telling of history.
• I can go into a hairdresser’s shop and find someone who can cut my hair. Read about discrimination based on hair.
• Whether I use credit cards or cash, I can count on my skin color not to work against the appearance of financial reliability. Read about the racial wealth gap.
• I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them. Read about lynching and the whitewashing of history.
• I do not have to educate my children to be aware of systemic racism for their own daily physical protection. Read about The Talk.
• I am never asked to speak for all the people of my racial group.
• If a cop stops me, I can be sure I haven’t been singled out because of my race. Read about racial profiling.
• I can arrange my activities so that I will never have to experience feelings of rejection owing to my race.
• I have no difficulty finding neighborhoods where people approve of our household. Read about Redlining, housing discrimination, and devaluation of assets.
• I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help, my race will not work against me. Read about discrimination in healthcare. How it relates to COVID-19.

Happy Earth Day!

We went solar a couple of months ago, paying in advance for decades of cleaner air, because electricity is definitely not free. It is fun to see statitstics for each panel and our contributions stacking up against deficits to the grid. Every little bit helps!

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p.s. Thus far, we’ve generated 33 kilowatt hours more than we’ve used, which is about 1.5 days worth of electricity!

Just over six years ago, I wrote a piece on depression. A little digression before I go on, SIX years. Time really is a wonder. Another wonder, this is post number 1600. SIXTEEN HUNDRED. I didn’t have an inkling back when I started what this would become or how long I’d be at it. In all truth, I still don’t. Maybe that I write and quote and photograph the truth. At least what is true to me. It’s the best I can do, and I do it. Again and again, with great JOY! Yes, indeed.

And so that bit on depression. In that post, I mentioned a genetic mutation that predisposes me for melancholy. I intended to write about it sooner, but, well, you know how life has other ideas. So did I, apparently.

Anyhoo, after learning of my depression and digestive woes, my Portland naturopath recommended that I test for MTHFR. I came back as heterozygous (one copy) for the C677T variant. There is a lot to read about it out on the interwebs, and I did until my eyes went googly. The very basic gist is my liver, on its very best day, only works at 70%. On the surface, it doesn’t sound too bad, 70% is average. In most of life, average is not bad! It’s only when you note how much is tied up in that missing 30% that things get thorny. Detoxification. Digestion. Cognition. Mood.

It also explained a lot about why my tummy was such a trickster. Why I could take a supplement in the morning and vomit it up WHOLE, along with everything else I’d eaten that day, right before bed. My everlasting depression. And much further down the line, why it was very likely that my bi-polar grandmother ended up suffering from dementia (MTHFR elevates homocysteine, which promotes brain atrophy), as the mutation is passed along like fruitcake. Pun intended.

With the naturopath’s limited knowledge, I started taking methylfolate, the cornerstone of the whole mutation. Because I don’t properly process folate. It’s got to be done for me. And so I started my dose. My mood soared! I was elated. I am healed! Then I utterly tanked, physically and emotionally, because my body could not handle the sudden cascade of detoxification. Back to square one.

So I read more on my own. I learned to start the methlylfolate incrementally. One supplement a week. Then twice a week if it feels right. Then three times. So very slowly. I let my body adjust until I could handle it daily. It was a long time before I felt okay, but I still had problems. An understatement, if ever there was.

I did more research and found the MTHFR protocol created by Dr. Ben Lynch and tinkered with it on my own. A little of this and a little of that. More. Then none. I went dairy and gluten-free for a year. Pretty good, but hard to sustain. Wheat is delicious! And I LOOOOVE cheese. I went vegan for a year and never felt worse. Lectins! Phytic acid! Abdominal pain. Brain fog. More tinkering.

At this point, I am ten years into this game and learned most everything I know on my own. I eat clean meats (grass fed and organic), a whole host of low lectin vegetables (everything peeled and seeded when possible, beans cooked in the instant pot), wee bits of fruits, nuts, and grains. My tummy thanks me.

That’s not all. I take a whole host of supplements, too. I rotate through pro-biotics and magnesium, for digestion, mood elevation, & muscle function. I take a co-enzyme B vitamin supplement, not just methylfolate, to help keep homocysteine levels down and mood up. N-Acetyl Cysteine helps keep my liver clean. DHEA a couple times a week keeps my adrenals and mood up. Vitamin D3 & K2 – sunshine in a bottle. Glutathione – helps my liver and gallbladder process fats (why I used to vomit all the time – the tiniest bit of fat kept me from digesting, no fun at all). Gallbladder Nutrients powder (from Seeking Health) with every meal – to further help my digestion.

It’s a lot, but it keeps me feeling good and as sane as I’m going to be. I take no prescription drugs and no pain killers. I really have never felt as well as I do now. My depression is ever present, but quietly so. I’m not struggling to keep suicidal thoughts at bay – I used to thing about dying ALL THE TIME. I can digest food! I no longer worry every time I eat if I’m going to be able to keep it down.

It’s rather odd, when I think about the shit show that has been my life – abuse, mental illness, endometriosis, migraines, and digestive woes – but I have always felt lucky. I guess I was born with the gift of truly seeing – every great privilege, every joy: the beauty of starlight, kindness, the scent of flowers and pine, music, dogs and cats and birds, the love of the hubster. Especially that.