Articles by Colleen

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Secret

We live through myriads of seconds, yet it is always one, just one, that casts our entire inner world into turmoil, the second when the internal inflorescence, already steeped in every kind of fluid, condenses and crystallizes—a magical second, like the moment of generation, and like that moment concealed in the warm interior of the individual life, invisible, untouchable, beyond the reach of feeling, a secret experienced alone. No algebra of the mind can calculate it, no alchemy of premonition divine it, and it can seldom perceive itself.

Stephan Zweig

Well, mostly earlier today, save these two, which were taken last week, in the same good company, however. A new friend, Jennifer, and I, out walking. Discussing that word, friend, how often it is tricky and not quite enough, sometimes too much.

In between oohing and aahing over the scent of pine and how damn lucky we are to live in THIS place, red stone and dust, spotted towhees, flowers, and giant gorgeous mountains peering over our shoulders, we shared the shorthand of memories, distillations of of selves more than forty years in the making. How did I come to be me in this instant?

Though we did not pose the question nearly as succinctly as that, it is a good one. How did I? I married young and made it last. The hubster is my very best friend. I knew when I was eight years old that I didn’t want children, and thank goodness because my body, strong and sometimes wicked dictator that it is, occasionally renders me helpless and tired and utterly and completely infertile. My wit is sharp, save when dulled by the hammer and illogic of depression. And siblings? Three, one of whom I no longer speak to. No, it is not sad. People always say that, but it’s not. One doesn’t encourage other people to stay in abusive relationships.

Though I love religious iconography and people who hide such treasures for me to find (squee!), I am not religious. Deeply spiritual, yes. In love with humanity, yes. Willing to do good, to give, to share, to help, yes, yes, YES!!

And what else, in this getting to know me phase? I love to walk and hike and bike, mostly in that order. I am an excellent baker and cook. A decent decorator. I love flowers and art and cerebral fil-ums. I devour good books and toss the rest aside. I cuss. I am a speed demon when entering the highway, first gear loud and thrumming, then go granny goose and take in the scenery. Was that a bird of prey I just saw? Let’s smell, touch, taste that. Let’s travel there. Turn right now, I wanna see where this goes. Do you hear that? Isn’t it amazing? Oh my goodness, aren’t we sooo lucky? We are alive now in THIS place!!

Wings

Feet, what do I need them for
If I have wings to fly.

Frida Kahlo

All Sorts

One realized all sorts of things. The value of an illusion, for instance, and that the shadow can be more important than the substance. All sorts of things.

Jean Rhys

Tags:

choke cherry

green mertensia

pasque flower

trumpet gooseberry

sand lily

yucca seed pod

best friend ever

white loco

scarlet paintbrush

three tooth ragwort

old school litter – a pull tab!!

the path home

One surprise, two surprises, three, and FIVE!

First surprise – not a single contractor chez nous this weekend. A quiet house, me and the hubster, the hubster and me. We celebrated, of course we did, with pyjama lounging, music turned up loud, a delicious lunch at La Baguette, French and cheesy, as in loaded with cheese, not corny, a mushroom omelette and a casserole, namesake baguette loaded with butter, red ripe strawberries, sweet as could be.

Second surprise – hail! Bouncing and skittering during lunch and on our way to our new favorite library, the East branch of PPLD. Nothing like our beloved Bayne Library in Bellevue, but lovely still, modern and bigger and with a stunning view of Pike’s Peak. I’ve decided, should I ever make a Colleen style fil-um, the cosy couches of the reading area will play a role. One day I’ll take a picture, and you’ll understand why.

Third surprise – wild flowers at Palmer Park, some hidden in plain sight, others practically hollering to be seen. As you might imagine, I did a lot of squealing in delight. I can’t wait to try to grow some of these at the new homestead!

Fourth surprise – Radiohead released their latest album, A Moon Shaped Pool! As someone who likes so little of what is released into the world these days (yeah, I am one of THOSE people), I was and remain giddy at hearing their bit of newness, playing it on a steady loop. Thank you ever so much Thom, Ed, Colin, Jonny, and Phil. You make my world better.

Fifth and best surprise – my brother Chris (hey brother…) called! This is no small feat because he is in a tiny town in Namibia, Africa, doing a stint in the Peace Corps. It was our first time speaking in over a year and a half and did as much chatting and laughing as humanly possible in fifty-three minutes time.

Here’s hoping your weekend was equally wonderful, with a lovely surprise or two…

 

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