Friendship

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Happy Tuesday!

As part of my day rave experience, I received Belong, a book written by Daybreaker co-founder Radha Agrawal. It’s all about creating communities where we feel valued and thrive. By completing a series of written and exploratory exercises, the reader creates the shape of her life by filling it with the people and activities that spark the most joy and connection.

I’d been plugging along with it when a friend texted to say she needed some girl time and really wanted us to hang out. Since I started doing the Belong work, I had some doubts about our relationship. She had a habit of not allowing space for me in conversation and making fun of me or Greg but had other qualities that I enjoyed, so I started to make plans, which sent a flag up for me.

This friend also had a habit of saying I was missed but never seemed to want to do the work of making the connection. It fell on me to choose the date, time, and activity. So, I wondered what would happen if she had the responsibility, offering ideas but leaving the execution to her. This was weeks ago, and I never heard back.

As I am wont to do, I fretted and found ways to make myself the bad actor. Then I looked back on one of the Belong exercises that asks what I do and don’t want in a relationship. I reread the qualities and was gobsmacked to realize she has ALL that I determined were deal breakers. And so I quit, not in an instant, see above(!), but over a few days, culminating by unfriending her on Facebook. I still feel a tad twitchy but know the relationships I am currently building are keepers, where positivity reigns and I am valued equally and treated respectfully.

Thank you, Radha, for helping me get to this place!

 

Bachelor buttons and much moving and shaking happening in our neck of the woods! The buttons are considered invasive much of the place, but so quaint and sweetly scented that I forgive them their trespasses. Over the past couple of weeks, we put more plants in the ground and purchased a passel more – I stopped counting at 100.  We also rid ourselves of the lawn out front and covered it with most of the 14 yards (!) of bark mulch purchased as of late. The word is transformative, though about 1.5 yards remains in a lump curbside. I’m too pooped to move it today, but sssssoooon! Our nephew Tyler helped us with some of the work, schlepping multiple loads from the landscaping place in his Ford F-150 and around the yard via shovel and wheelbarrow. The truck is nearly the same model we shared with our dear Portland neighbors Pat and Kelly, and made us ever so happy to reminisce about. Good times, brown skin, and sore bodies, my dear peeps! How much closer we are to the finish line now. WOOT!

We’ve also been busy socializing with family and friends, to-ing and fro-ing around town and up yonder to Littleton, walking Juniper less than we ought due to yard work fatigue, and eating poorly out of the same fatigue. That bit of nonsense stops now because I cannot stand a tender tummy one more day! Just as soon as I finish this bit of word-smithing I am heading to the grocery for a mess-o-greens and vegetables.

I had another two peonies bloom and one is on the ready, which makes my heart too happy for words. So, an embarrassment of riches, I suppose, as it usually is around here. I’ll get some before and after photos of the yard up sometime soon.

Here’s hoping you are well and enjoying this soon to be summer time…

 

Today is our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Gosh and huzzah, wow, wow, wow, we have come so far together. We are wonderfully strong together, happy together, silly together, mostly wise together, and sometimes stupid together. Most of all, we are crazy in love TOGETHER.

In some ways it is a total surprise, that our lives have cycled through twenty-five years, a mad dream of beauty, wonder, and adventure. Still others, it feels like an eternity. How could there ever be a time when we weren’t practically attached at the hip? The slim space between us the breadth of the universe. That is us, so close, yet so unhindered and free.

It is not always easy, and we have fumbled and blundered, but our LOVE and will for cooperation remains stronger than anything that has wished to see us apart.

Here’s to the next twenty-five years….

How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.

Shel Silverstein

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New Mexican Black Dog. Maybe not technically a breed but the most accurate description of our girl. She is most likely a Kelpie – Cattle Dog mix, but we’re happy to let the mystery linger.

What we DO know – that she loves all that is important in a dog’s life –  to hike and walk and eat and cuddle and play. Oh, and dig holes (grrr…) and run, especially after rabbits and squirrels.

 

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